r e c i t a l (zone)

" that last kiss.. was like a dontwanttoletgo kiss"

2010-05-19T04:46:00.000-07:00

"i could feel it."

t i m e l i m i t s (can't we just pretend they don't exist ?)

2010-05-19T01:29:00.000-07:00

there's only so much time (in between) that i can handle.

i didn't realise you meant 'ever after'

2010-05-18T02:28:00.000-07:00

how can you hope for fulfilment in thirty minutes.
how can you hope for enough.

i'm listening to everything that reminds me of you
because that, amongst the tiny scribbles on crushed pieces of paper,
get me through all of this.

how can i hope to get across what i'm trying to say?

'right now' is code word for 'all the time'

2010-05-15T20:01:00.000-07:00

we're getting used to the idea of mortality.
we're getting used to the idea of magic.
we're getting used to the idea of realism.
we're getting used to the idea of infancy.
we're getting used to the idea of intimacy.
we're getting used to the idea of a benevolent being watching over us all.
we're getting used to the idea of missed birthday parties (we really wanted to be at).
we're getting used to the idea of cola lollies.
we're getting used to the idea of 'team red.'
we're getting used to the idea of life never being the same.
we're getting used to the idea of being and not being.
we're getting used to the idea of contradiction.
we're getting used to the idea of musical lives.
we're getting used to the idea of auto-saving.
we're getting used to the idea of late-night phone calls that make us smile.
we're getting used to the idea of too loud music.
we're getting used to the idea of never accomplishing anything.
we're getting used to the idea of overpriced perfume.
we're getting used to the idea of too tight clothes.
we're getting used to the idea of seeing but never believing.
we're getting used to the idea of notes on coloured paper.
we're getting used to the idea of incredible invitations.
we're getting used to the idea of locks.
we're getting used to the idea of trivial conversations.
we're getting used to the idea of (meaningful) conversations.
we're getting used to the idea of new lenses.
we're getting used to the idea of posing for photos.
we're getting used to the idea of green bows on black paper.
we're getting used to the idea of ~~love~~ like.

i kinda need you right now.

i kinda wish i did though

2010-04-26T04:32:00.000-07:00

love is a REAL word.

2010-04-22T02:00:00.003-07:00

if they say it in person,
and you get scared
it's

r
e
a
l

you do you, and i'm just gonna do mine

2010-01-25T01:14:00.000-08:00

sign me up for signing out.
don't take my silence personally,
i'm not made for being upfront.

a war might save us

2009-12-28T06:15:00.001-08:00

a small fact:
you
are
going
to

die
.

most requested #12

2009-12-03T21:06:00.000-08:00

WHEN I SAW YOU ON TV I THOUGHT I WAS DREAMING.
BUT IT TURNS OUT I WASN'T.
promise me that we'll ride bicycles on main roads in hats that tell people more about ourselves than we do.

innocence = 1 : intelligence = 0

2009-11-29T17:41:00.001-08:00

Why are we born?

Because there is a papa and a mama.

Do we have a papa and a mama too?

In our case...we have God, I guess.

update: visit this

2009-11-27T19:58:00.000-08:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/stacy_magallon/sets/72157609587511104/

i know that you'll enjoy it (:

it's these things that made it fun

2009-11-27T16:00:00.000-08:00

i wanna feel weightless VS tick tock on the clock

2009-11-27T15:50:00.000-08:00

(is that even how you spell it?)
two days.
one night.
no sleep.
we dance in the ~~flood~~ rain and disregard the need to keep those clothes dry so we can wear them the next day.
[wet bra syndrome]
you only brought one?
photo count = 1012
chester = euphoric
(it's hard not to be proud of yourself when you lasted so long)
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!
withdrawal symptoms; i need more to go on than just what you've given me
2.4 km
3 spider webs
countless screams of "GET IT OFF ME"
not enough time.
paint-a-piggies.
heart shaped pins.
sarongs.
singing in front of people that sing the piano parts for you.
group discussion.
mrs dixon.
"legs eleven/11/oneone"
intense guitar solos and girls who "degrade themselves" in sparkley boleros and harem legged jumpsuits.
'superhero summer' t-shirts.
handing out plastic plates.
eating last.
leaving.
home.
(not mine though, that comes later)
shower
school again.
songs about christmas.
mikes that don't work.
applause.
home (finally).
change.
sleep.

THE END.

marys, josephs and three wise mens

2009-11-27T15:47:00.000-08:00

BLUE.

T R A G I C : smile and the world looks at you funny

2009-11-23T01:29:00.000-08:00

ask my memories

2009-11-23T01:24:00.001-08:00

"it's too bouncy for rock"

"it's pop.."

"pop rock?"

"yeah."

"that's too wussy for me"

READ: nobody likes you

2009-11-23T01:15:00.004-08:00

scan and fix?

lady peaceful, lady happy, that's what i want to be

2009-11-23T01:15:00.003-08:00

"all the odds are, they're in my favour."

(POP!) (BANG!) (KAPOW!)

2009-11-23T01:12:00.001-08:00

if there was a soundtrack to your life, i would be the first to buy it

2009-11-23T01:09:00.001-08:00

looking really close at something always makes me wonder whether happiness and contentment are interconnected. who says they are? who says they aren't? i'm just a monologue ready to be spoken aloud with no-one to do it.
(today i learnt that you're gone)
(tomorrow i learnt that you've been gone for longer than i've been around)
how did i meet you then?

i'm a desparate cry for help

2009-11-21T18:32:00.000-08:00

sorry, we're closed.

everything is practise for something else

2009-11-20T19:52:00.000-08:00

minnie mouse notepads.
comics from papers that make us laugh.
drawings of trees.
selling/buying text books.
over-thinking.
hand-made birthday cards.
sticky lip glosses.
burst balloons.
'messages in bottles' on bottles.
too many posters of boys we dream of marrying.
mobile phone charms.
red paper clip hearts.
yellow paper clip hearts.
blue ducks.
rocky rock over-sized lollipops.
got braces? t-shirts.
boxes with notes we've kept to remember each other by.
alarm clocks.
the letter F.
'we're so' talbography shoots.
nintendo products.
headphones that never (ever) work.
love hearts scribbled on literature notes.
stephen king.
SLR cameras.
$15.
bleach.
exams for 3/4 subjects.
idioms.
dictionaries of literature terms.
ribbon.

(read: "i always remember the boring things")

what do you want to do?

2009-11-20T19:36:00.000-08:00

"i guess... i just want to stay here"

and you and i? we're a new light

2009-11-20T18:44:00.000-08:00

you're running up stairs and he's trying desparately to catch up with you. but you're too fast. (read: everything will end with you)
i'm running up the stairs and you're catching up to me. (read: everything will end with you)
we're running up the stairs and then the world ends. (read: "suffering to the _________ is not an anomoly; suffering is a vocation) (read further: everything will end with you)

just what did you think would happen?

what makes the red man red?

2009-11-20T17:40:00.000-08:00

"When you wake in the morning, the naughtiness and evil passions with which you went to bed have been folded up small and placed at the bottom of your mind; and on top, beautifully aired, are spread out your prettier thoughts, ready for you put on."
-J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

t i m e s t o p p e d

2009-11-18T02:03:00.001-08:00

and all at once everything was alright.

what will you fight for?

2009-11-13T23:02:00.000-08:00

something new has been ignited, and i can't help feeling that it's ignited in me. (i'm not trying to sound cliche, it's just coming out that way). two sides to one story; i'm fighting for Organization Myself and everyone else thinks that i'm on their side.
Facades are too difficult to give up on; i've worked too hard to make this one seem real and put too much effort in to let it go
let it go
let it go
let it go
LET GO
we're all going to end up in the middle, so me fighting for myself just means i'll get there faster.

the day we're born is the last day we're free

2009-11-02T16:10:00.000-08:00

"what is courage?"

2009-11-02T12:44:00.000-08:00

this is.

"you're the coolest person i know, and you don't even try"

2009-11-02T12:11:00.000-08:00

THIS IS A REBLOG

" Now, coming back home on the train, (Glen Waverley line, which no one takes, man) I was sitting in my seat blasting sweet, sweet music into my ears. And then a MASSIVE horde of male testosterone came flitting on board.

GET YOUR FUCKING BLAZER OFF OF MY FACE.

I'm not being petty or up my self, I swear. It's just really, really annoying when people invade my personal space bubble. Okay, so maybe on a train during peak hour, that's a little harder to avoid, but dude, there was like ten gazillion feet of aisle between where I was sitting and the Horde. So therefore, it's not that hard to remove your arm from the handle so that I am not freaking trapped in a little triangular corner. And it's also not that difficult to take one teeny step backwards so that your crotch, hairy legs, and blazer flap are all not in my face. Like two millimetres from my nose.

So, moving on... "

"yeah some say it's a blessing, some say it's a curse"

2009-11-02T11:49:00.001-08:00

i say that we should forget everything and meet again.

one day i'm going to stop thinking in "i's" and "we's" and start thinking in "them's" and "no-one's". it might be easier to understand everything if i remove myself from within it. someone once told me that looking at a clock in a mirror will make everything seem fuzzier, but it's that fuzziness that keeps me going; clarity will only set me back another 49245972497245 minutes before i realise what i realised is what i tried to erase.
(by the way, i see the clock as 10:10 when i look at it; the numbers matching like that makes me happy)

honey, this is not a curse (being with you), it's a blessing.
(and i knew i wouldn't study)

what runs through your head when the unexpected happens?

2009-11-02T11:43:00.000-08:00

every time that we think everything is alright in the world (or want to think it),
you come back with a vengeance, screaming our names. stop. we breathe for a minute and then we're brought back down into our minds with a cold, hard shove in the back and after that we're left to pick up where you left of, and be happy that we're still here.

f.y.i. the last thing that goes through your mind when the unexpected happens, is probably the window.

To love someone is to give that person the power to destroy you, and trust that person not to do it anyway.

2009-10-18T01:12:00.001-07:00

i trusted you.

jump off the edge with me

2009-10-11T22:56:00.000-07:00

there's a tragic sort of finality about a full stop

2009-10-11T20:30:00.000-07:00

if anything should scare you,
it should be the end

.

oh, happy days

2009-10-11T20:24:00.000-07:00

i'm going to plug you in and you're going to show me everything you hold on that tiny piece of plastic that you hold everything in. i'm going to steal every piece of information you have on there and show the world what you can do.
because god knows,
if someone else doesn't,
you won't.

p.s sorry for scaring you that night

2009-10-11T20:23:00.000-07:00

when we were together
and they were being jealous.

THIS IS A REJECTION

2009-10-10T20:41:00.000-07:00

this is not a love story. this is not a faery tale. i'm going to tell it to you, and tell it to you straight. there will be no pretty analogies, i'm beyond the point of reason where this really sinks into the next long echo of self-pity and ugly, ugly pieces of electronics.
how can one word reflect another? this isn't a case of synonyms, this is cold hard irony, and it's slapped us in the face so many times i thought i wouldn't cry anymore, but i do. every word hurts more than any knife could because even though all of this every single filthy word you say leaves an impression on me that makes me want to be like you;
perfect with imperfections
a friend once told me that i had an air about me that screamed "protect me" and she was right.
i wish desparately for my prince charming to take me away (believe it or not i'm still a romantic, even after all these years) and keep me safe from evil witches like Cruella Deville.
there's a reason her name has words like 'cruel' and 'devil' in it, it's these words that aren't synonyms but shards of irony in the reflections of the bitter reality i just don't want to see.
the reality where people are broken by people they love, the reality where everything is made to look reality, when really the only real thing is everyone being fake.
(at least i can admit that i lie)
how can one word mean so much to me, but so little to you? how can pretty words be made ugly when you say them? words like 'true' and 'lend' and 'me'.
sometimes i just don't understand.
i don't remember who i am anymore, if i am one person or a whole group of people in one.
the truth is i'm afraid to let everyone know the truth about you because it means everyone will know the truth about me and that frightens me because i need everything i have more than you could imagine; more than you could ever understand.
and i know this is nothing but pen on paper, or words on some ugly electronic device that makes me feel so worthless (and you so threatened), but i had to say it someplace before i exploded.
i guess what they say is true.
"ignorance is bliss"

i want to know what it feels like to be lost and innocent, not belligerent

2009-10-10T20:33:00.000-07:00

"can you tell me why i can't sleep at night?"

i'm just trying so hard to not think about not thinking about not sleeping.
but it never seems to work.
i could always blame you for never leaving my thoughts,
but that would be lazy and sort of un called for.
i think i'll suffice to not think about thinking about sleeping.

fire and ice

2009-09-21T04:34:00.000-07:00

SOME SAY THE WORLD WILL END IN FIRE, SOME SAY ICE.
and
we're so burning ice.

and dearest your cool, calm, collected presence is as soft as the whispering wind
you are the ultimate distraction of the diversities of life

AND WOULD SUFFICE.

be raw, be harsh, be bold, be honest with me dearest
i cannot bare to have you any other way

sonnet 116 dear heart
it is an ever fixed mark...

jane austin characters, it all ends perfectly

2009-09-21T03:42:00.000-07:00

ok we've established we all desire movie script endings
the twist and turn of the tormented tide

lets take our romantic sensibilities afar
lets form our dreams into our realities

is love a fancy or a feeling?
you tell me dearest, but do not attempt to deny your true nature
let your heart guide you dearest

can you tell the difference between those moments of awkwardness and pure contentment
because each and every moment i spend with you is pure bliss
and all i fancy from this modern love is a kiss
you are my trainer dearest
i, your houndour

pew pew - you're so dead right now

2009-09-19T06:07:00.001-07:00

looking at this makes my head hurt more and more

2009-09-18T19:24:00.000-07:00

when did saying "i like you" become less cliche than "i love you" ?

weddings? i prefer funerals - they're far more real

2009-09-16T00:28:00.000-07:00

why can't you see me ?

allow me to introduce myself ... mr right

2009-09-16T00:20:00.000-07:00

"i'm saving myself for mr darcy"

this will last forever

2009-09-16T00:16:00.000-07:00

if it manages to last through the lunchtimes
and the secret walks to secret places
then
i
hope
it
will
last
forever.

i never put a tick in the "remember me" box

2009-09-12T20:32:00.000-07:00

when will the day end?

(sorry)

2009-09-08T03:11:00.001-07:00

almost there

2009-09-08T01:42:00.001-07:00

let's start at the beginning:
she dies
he waits
they reunite
it's another name for
history: revolutions

when you said that i almost died

2009-09-08T01:40:00.000-07:00

if i said you 'bewitched' me,
would you tell me that
you meant to?

putting in the effort means more to you than it does to me

2009-09-08T01:39:00.002-07:00

that wasn't me saying i don't want this,
it was me saying
i
could
never
measure
up
to
you
.

how come when i type the letter 'y' all that comes up is 'you' ?

2009-09-08T01:38:00.000-07:00

you took my breath away.
i'm just asking for it back.

2009-09-08T01:37:00.001-07:00

EPIC

VOICES.

practise how to speak normal

2009-09-08T01:35:00.000-07:00

we hide in the back of yards and practise talking how they want us to. but it's not for the reason you think it is.
it's because we're not trying to fit in, but to fit out.
you see,
it's becoming one of them that really gets on their nerves,
you see,
they can't stand it when someone else gets perfect better then they do.

you're a commendation

2009-09-08T01:20:00.000-07:00

the equivalent of a letter of recommendation
is you.
because where ever you go,
you spread forgetful.

you make exaggerating look like a joke.

2009-09-07T01:16:00.000-07:00

things are weird, and getting weirder

2009-09-07T01:13:00.000-07:00

what does it feel like to have your own custom emoticon?
it seems ironic that you are everything but stereotypical,
and yet,
you can be summed up in one tiny picture that appears in conversations that you never save.

did you know i save some of ours?

just because i need something to remember you by when you're famous.

you're the scrawled notes in my border, and i'm the imminent bad grade i'm going to get because of them

2009-09-07T01:10:00.000-07:00

admit it,

we were just never meant to be.

i'm not listening

2009-09-07T01:08:00.000-07:00

to anything you say,
because everything you say
is lies.

(and it tears me up inside to know that i can't live without ~~you~~ them)

sometimes it's easier to dream that we're apart than it is to dream that we're together

2009-09-07T01:07:00.001-07:00

hold me closer tiny dancer,
and try not to fall down while you reach too high.

will it upload if i scream at it ?

2009-09-07T01:06:00.001-07:00

let's share a universe together

2009-09-07T01:05:00.001-07:00

too young to care.

the time of return :

2009-09-05T00:57:00.000-07:00

n e v e r .

(sorry)

"white is so useful. it's like my Holy Grail."

2009-09-05T00:48:00.000-07:00

if you could paint the world in colours,
would you paint it black?
would have every colour on one thing to make that thing stand out more than every other thing that stands around it so that the only thing that anyone would notice would be that thing?
(something like that would remind me of -)
would you paint everything diamond coloured? and name them lucy?
how can you paint "kaleidoscope?"
i'm trying to remember your favourite colour so that i can throw it away before you use it.
not out of malice, but out of trust;
i can't trust you with something you 'love'
because you always end up breaking it.

i'm too tired for this

2009-09-02T23:43:00.000-07:00

let's just pretend we're friends so that the people around us don't suspect anything.
let's not make them too excited.

i wish they would turn the lights off

2009-09-02T01:27:00.000-07:00

dreaming of far off places in compact spaces, lets just settle to look out the window and observe the 'scenery'. Dark blue, dark blue, have you ever been alone in a crowded room?

aren't we all just pretending to pretend when it comes down to it?

2009-09-01T03:53:00.000-07:00

i don't mean to burst that bubble of optimism honey,
but you're not gonna get anywhere with your
i'm-so-fucking-perfect attitude and
trashy, come-do-me look.
i can't wait to see the look on your face when i make you pump my gas.

why so bluejay ?

2009-09-01T01:42:00.000-07:00

cheer up emo kid,
we're all headed your way sometime.

a hand-writing analysis :

2009-09-01T01:41:00.000-07:00

nothing looks good if it's not in your hand-writing.

"you're a sap"

"i know, but at least i admit it."

write me a prayer and i might answer it

2009-09-01T01:40:00.002-07:00

you're pathetic.

2009-09-01T01:36:00.002-07:00

i'm not trying to get ahead of myself,
but i really think that this is getting somewhere.
me and you.
i really do.
we can be partners in rhyme, or maybe we could just be plain, old partners.
we're so running from the "cold" people,
and shooting at stars that explode into colours that explode into tiny little splatters of magic that fall on us and makes us glitter like the magic they hold.
we are forever;
but
don't try and understand the purpose behind it,
just know that i'm doing my best to be sincere.

you're my best friend; and i mean it

2009-09-01T01:36:00.001-07:00

let's walk.

what happened to that girl i used to know?

2009-09-01T01:34:00.000-07:00

she grew up and married her prince.
and what happened to us?
we got married to our hero/heroines
and waited at home while they saved the world
again
and
again
and
again.

i've got your back, even if you can't take mine

2009-09-01T01:31:00.000-07:00

we're so forever it scares me.

a very simple story of indifference

2009-08-31T02:13:00.000-07:00

me + you

evol htiw

2009-08-31T01:53:00.000-07:00

we're so birthday notes and bottled water.

"forever is fickle"

2009-08-31T01:40:00.000-07:00

we're all just waiting for coincidences to call fate.
what would you do if i told you i lived through you.

your/my P.O.V

2009-08-31T01:30:00.000-07:00

what does it matter if 'we' never happen?

i feel like a hero, and you are my heroine

2009-08-31T01:29:00.003-07:00

you're a typo waiting to happen,
and i'm the backspace button waiting to fix you up.

don't come here; i'm not ready for an intervention

2009-08-31T01:26:00.000-07:00

i'm just waiting for an acceptance letter; i know it won't ever be a sorry.
you give me sayings but no substance, all i want is a proper answer.
i don't want to take sides in all of this, but you're forcing me, you with your beautiful brutal honesty that makes me feel all dirty inside.

that's what she said.

you're a song waiting to be written

2009-08-30T01:53:00.001-07:00

imagine that you're not exclusive and i'm not sarcastic;
we'd be best friends.

so i listened to your mix tape, and it kinda rocked my world

2009-08-30T01:06:00.000-07:00

let's act like superheroes and run around with coloured towels as capes.
let's act like marvellous fictional characters with costumes from second-hand stores to symbolise our second-hand stories.
will we re-tell them as well as the authors?
or have we taken their place already?

hey, what's that lying on the floor ?

2009-08-30T01:01:00.000-07:00

my

d
i
g
n
i
t
y
.

i think that you thought that i thought that we were already ready for this

2009-08-30T00:57:00.000-07:00

i'm just so tired of this

you make breaking hearts look so easy

2009-08-30T00:46:00.000-07:00

what do you mean we're just 'not enough' for you?
what do you mean we're just 'the end of the world' for you?
what do you mean we're just 'incessant whining' for you?
what do you mean we're just 'not ready for the truth'?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'RE JUST FUCKING BREAKING APART?

how can i say "i do" when i don't ?

2009-08-28T04:07:00.000-07:00

i'm so confused;
and you don't realise because you only see what i want you to see
and nothing more
i feel like i'm way to replaceable to be someone of importance to you
i just want to be seen
can't you try and look past it all?

i'm not going to beg,
but, honey, i might just try

the only magic i still believe in is

2009-08-28T03:58:00.002-07:00

y o u

stop looking at me

2009-08-28T03:58:00.001-07:00

i wish you were who i thought you were

i'm ready ?

2009-08-28T03:42:00.000-07:00

i'm going to take your photo now
POSE
FLASH
just wait a second, it'll be here soon
that little piece of shiny paper that has captured that very second and will never let you forget it
you're in my top friends;
but only because i couldn't think of anyone else to put there

errr

2009-08-28T03:00:00.000-07:00

why are we so awkward now?

let's hide in our secret spaces and pretend that we can't hear them calling us back

2009-08-26T02:05:00.000-07:00

we walk
down
down
down
we're not going anywhere important; but the walk makes it seem like we are.
let's walk
down
down
down
we're not going anywhere vital; we just need to escape from the gaps in between ourselves and them

"i hate slow walkers"
lies.

who[a]

2009-08-25T02:10:00.001-07:00

we're crashing cars we used to share
and running around in spaces too small to fit us all
and sharing each others breath
because
there isn't enough to go around when we're all together like this in one space that's been concentrated with essence of you.
we're nothing more than people sitting with people sitting with cameras sitting with headbands sitting with boys covered in other peoples sweat.

"tell me, is the best night of your year so far?"

definitely.

we're all aiming for something just under your nose

2009-08-25T02:07:00.000-07:00

RIP
that was all i wanted to do to you

i mean,
your shirt.

please, just drop that microphone in front of me

2009-08-25T01:57:00.000-07:00

so i can pick it up and run away
with the words you sang into it forever trapped within its metal ring.
please, please
J U S T S T A Y O N E M O R E N I G H T
i don't want this to end because
the tall red-head stole something precious of mine
and
you don't seem to understand
i can't get it back
i just want this to last forever

or meet you in lobbies that i'll never see.

you're mildly euphoric

2009-08-18T21:47:00.001-07:00

and this time i won't say good-bye

hello doctor

2009-08-18T18:28:00.000-07:00

bring on the incision, we're ready.

2009-08-14T03:51:00.000-07:00

i'm not pretending anymore.
this is me.
this is us.
we're not ok.
everything is not like it was before.
we should stop being/crying
maybe it would be better if it was dying?
it being what we have
i'm not sure we gave
it everything we have in us
it's riding away
it's taking the bus
it's not here anymore.
let's harmonize and act real
i'm not going to pretend anymore.

i'm looking for thrills that don't exist

2009-08-14T03:14:00.001-07:00

i'm not living
i'm not living
i'm not living
i'm not living
i'm not living
i'm not living without you.

we're nothing but insanity personified

2009-08-14T02:57:00.000-07:00

i l o v e y o u .

sometimes i spend hours just waiting for a phone call from you to make me feel better

2009-08-14T02:54:00.000-07:00

smile through broken masks so that all i can see is some kind of sinister smirk instead of what you're face is really expressing.
pleasestopactinglikethisisntimportant
because it is.
it really is.
even if it isn't to you.